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Relationships End Where They Begin

Angie Herbers | Investment Advisor, September 2015

Summary: In his 2007 book “Blink,” Malcolm Gladwell combines a broad spectrum of research to make the case for the power of first impressions. One of his quoted sources is relationship counselor John Gottman, who penned “The Science of Trust” and other books on human relationships. Gladwell focused on Gottman's “four horsemen of the apocalypse” behaviors as strong predictors of how a relationship will work out. Unfortunately, according to Gottman himself, Gladwell got it wrong.

[If you or the other person rewrites history to the negative, your relationship is likely going to end in the negative (think about how many spouses hate each other after they get divorced). If you remember the good (think about the way many people talk about the day their child was born), your relationship is going to end in the good, no matter the weirdness (or teenage years) in the middle."